Angelus ([info]phoenixshadow) wrote,
@ 2009-06-18 11:12:00
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Current music:'the Kill' 30 Seconds to Mars

my week
Tuesday morning, wake up, get to work, get it setup to get the money I have been waiting on EARLY by half a month, sweet...

Get to work, by 8:30am, my Mother calls me to let me know dad is in the hospital with chest pains... after his heartattack two years, this is concerning...

Worked until 1pm, waiting for my boss to arrive to relief me so I can drive to western mass to be with my family.

Get to the hospital, dad is still in the ER and they haven't a clue what's going on.

About 6pm, I head to my parent's house to be with my brother, and I get a flat before getting two feet from the hospital.

Get there a hour later, all the local tire shops are closed.

Spend a shitty night's sleep on the couch, worried about dad's stress test the next morning

The morning arrives, get my tire fixed for $15 (thank you) and get to the hospital

Stress test inconclusive

Have to head back to Boston about 2pm

Start working at 4pm, stressing, migraine, the works

6pm learn that the next afternoon, dad goes in for surgery to find out if he needs a new stint in his heart or if the existing one is the current cause of the issues

Another shitty night's sleep

Opened at 7am, waiting for the surgery to start this afternoon, and wanting to just have one fucking customer give me ANY static so I can SCREAM and BITCH.

Off at 3pm, probably heading back to western mass.

"What if I wanted to break?"


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[info]ladyskada
2009-06-18 04:06 pm UTC (link)
Breathe deep, love. He got to the hospital early, so chances of any truly serious repurcussions are much smaller.
*big hug*
I've been where you are. My dad had a heart attack while on vacation. Ended up needing a triple bypass immediately in a Florida hospital.
Let me know if you need more information on anything the doctor spews at you.

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[info]phoenixshadow
2009-06-18 04:26 pm UTC (link)
don't want to breathe, don't wanna be calm, I want to scream and shout and go crazy!

I want to break and break things, I want to get in a fist fight with some 'Ya-Dude' prick

I want to drink until I cannot stand up

I just want my life to return

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[info]prttyasacarcrsh
2009-06-18 04:09 pm UTC (link)
I'm so sorry. Take deep breaths and think positively.

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[info]phoenixshadow
2009-06-18 04:26 pm UTC (link)
Read over comment I left

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[info]prttyasacarcrsh
2009-06-18 04:31 pm UTC (link)
I know you want to, but that's not really going to get you far (well shouting and screaming could commence in your car... particularly while driving to songs that make you feel better). And while you don't want to, nice big deep breaths, measured in and out can help. I was told, "just keep breathing, everything else will fall into its place" You have a loving family and wonderful friends here to support you through all of this; just take care of yourself!

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[info]transparencies
2009-06-18 04:50 pm UTC (link)
:hugs: well, i'm going to go ahead and breathe and think good thoughts for your family, since it's hard for you to do so right now.

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[info]girlygothic
2009-06-18 08:29 pm UTC (link)
I'm thinking good thoughts for your dad, that the surgery goes well and things are as minor as they can be.

Regarding wanting to scream and shout and go crazy, this may seem a bit weird, but I figure I might as well offer the idea... People often tell you that if you're angry (and right now the emotions you're experiencing seem pretty close to anger) that you should punch a pillow. But I've found that does nothing for me. Punching the pillow doesn't do anything to the pillow. It's still just fine. What I've done has had no effect on the outside world, so it has no effect inside me. So what I do when I'm feeling like that is instead I take a wire hanger and mangle it up into a ball in my hands. For me, it's strangely effective. Don't know if it will help for you, but like I said, I figured it wouldn't hurt to offer the idea.

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